Sexual Harassment Costs Way Too Much

vintage secretary

Recent revelations about the sexual misconduct of some very famous men have shone a harsh light on a pervasive problem plaguing our country.  The #MeToo movement will be remembered for showing how ubiquitous the mistreatment of vulnerable people by those in power is. And remind us that “no means no” is not enough.

Call it rape culture, toxic masculinity or even the inevitable bi-product of a patriarchal society—but it’s become clear that powerful people abusing their positions can no longer be tolerated.

It is also important to note that sexual harassment is not only deeply painful—it is very expensive.

Fox News has famously paid over $90 million to settle a slew of lawsuits, and Harvey Weinstein reached at least 8 settlements, with a class action suit in the works. And Congresswoman Jackie Speier just revealed that US taxpayers have paid $15 million to settle sexual harassment allegations in the House of Representatives. Cha-ching!

Big companies and organizations might write that off as the cost of doing business, turning a blind eye to alleged abuse because of the perceived “talent” or ”charisma” of the accused.

But know you who else is talented? The victims of this sexist system. For far too long a small group of socially-elevated men have been the gatekeepers to power, stifling the contributions of women.

Because to actually change the culture, the fight against sexual harassment has to go beyond punishing men to actually helping women.

How do we fix this?

We can start by putting more women in positions of power. Gender inequality in the workplace creates a power imbalance that can feed a culture of harassment. Just like with racial diversity, women bring different voices and ideas to the group. When all employees are valued participants, it is much tougher to think of colleagues as objects, or ignore their contributions.

Only 19% of Congress is female, and in Hollywood only about 7% of films are directed by women.

Building greater gender parity in the workplace will help chip away the underlying causes that make it easier for serial abusers to operate with impunity.

And creating a safer work environment will empower women to speak up and bring all their skills and creativity to the organization. And that would be win-win for everyone.

Our ugly sexual harassment problem is a crisis—but also an opportunity. Let’s turn the pain and anger into action.

 

Notes From the Resistance

anti-Trump march
Dump Trump NYC march. November 12, 2016.

Feeling hale and hearty on this crisp and sunny day as I continue to grapple with what a Donald Trump presidency means for me, the people I care about—and the world at large. The despondence and shock of last week has morphed into purpose. I am excited by all the possibilities of the newly-emboldened activism, even as I mourn for the fact that the new regime has made this necessary. Just like W’s win in 2000 (which was not quite a win) we all brought this upon ourselves. Did I fight Trump as much as I could have? Probably not, but I did fight, and guilt is not particularly helpful for someone with so much shit to do. I will say that this is a process, and in my longterm goal to be as useful a person as possible, I do spend a fair amount of my day working to create a more compassionate world. So there is that.

I was lucky enough to participate in Saturday’s Trump Tower march, which I would recommend to anybody. There is something about shouting yourself hoarse chanting “This is what democracy looks like” while surrounded by people of all ages and colors carrying “Love Trumps Hate” signs to make you feel better about the world. The resistance has been launched.

But I do feel some lingering sorrow about the fact that so many white women voted for Trump. In my Facebook feed, I was shocked to see that an aunt, who rarely posts, was “sick” of people guilt-tripping her over her Trump vote. She wanted them to know she was a “moral” person. The defensiveness and confusion she seemed to be feeling was palpable, and I’m guessing some of her kids or grandkids got to her. It almost seemed like a cry for help, like no one showed her there was a better alternative.

At the same time it is important to note that I am not talking about a disgruntled unemployed rust belt machinist or Appalachian coal miner who has seen their possibilities evaporate in our winner-takes-all neoliberal economy. She lives in Florida and she and her husband own a small business. They sail for fun, and he’s been known to brag about the amazing work ethic of his Mexican employees—who he is most definitely not vetting for immigration status. So I’m left thinking that racism and misogyny played a part in her decision. And since the USA is a racist and misogynist country, still, everyone  is somewhere on the curve, and needs to recognize that.

And if we are going to place blame for the election results, there is plenty to go around. Yes, the media was biased and had a double standard when it came to Hillary. The FBI shenanigans, email leaks, and breathtakingly out-of-touch DNC all played their part as well. But, ultimately, there is something deep and dark in us that responded to Cheeto Jesus. And the only way to fight that, longterm, is to create an alternative that is lighter and brighter than anything that hate monger and his movement can barf up. Strategize, plan and act, by all means, but also understand that it will take an internal shift in our neighbors’ hearts for us to really be free of this dark cloud.

Summer of Hate, Summer of Love

NYC Light Brigade

Are the wheels really coming off? I say this after a few months of such over-the-top chaos in the world at large. I think people will be processing this year for a long time, and books will be written about how the world nearly went off the rails in 2016, with mass shootings, terrorist bloodbaths, failed coups – and the phenomenon of Donald Trump.

Trump hits close to home because he has caught many of us by surprise. He’s a con man, maybe the best in the business, but something else as well. His toxic narcissism resonates with so many people because, I think, it reflects their own pain and alienation. He’s our own monster, born and bred in the USA. And maybe screaming about Mexicans at a rally feels good in the moment, but anyone who thinks his cruelty and lack of empathy makes for a good leader is likely not dealing with their own pain and separation. And it seems like there are a lot of these people, way more than expected. Because unless you are a committed racist, Donald Trump’s America holds nothing for you. And judging from his track record, he won’t actually be able to execute any of his fascist-flavored vision.

As for me, when I see him it’s like my ears go back and a low snarl builds in the back of my throat. I feel like screaming, can’t you see what he is? It reminds me of a documentary I saw once about the porn business. The women performers said that they had a number of disqualifiers for male partners, but the one that stuck in my mind was the creep factor. You know it when you see it, and  The Donald has it, and then some.

I also find myself of two minds on Hillary Clinton. Yes, she is a strong and smart woman with an amazing work ethic who has fought long and hard for her place in the world. But she also has been a politician for so long that any sincerity she once held has been polished off. I’ve heard she has a wicked sense of humor, and I’ve heard from people who work with her that she’s effective and  doesn’t forget a thing. But she’s also someone who spends Christmas with Henry Kissinger, making her a global elite. And the global elite see people and countries like pieces on a chessboard and are not likely to change—unless they have to.

So this is turning into a summer for the ages, with so much sound and fury packed into the hottest months, that I am still not quite sure how to separate what matters from that which is really nothing.

But there is still plenty to feel good about, in spite of the bombardment of atrocities on the news. The country is beginning to come to terms with the lingering issue of police violence in communities of color.  Paying people a living wage is no longer a fringe idea, and the mania to privatize every aspect of our society is being revealed for the scam that it is. And I am delighted that so many activists have made this shift possible.

The End Isn’t Nigh

Today the world was supposed to end, again. But the evangelical Christian group counting on the end of days (an end in which they would naturally be spared) will just have to pick another date on the calendar. The world will go on, in its messy brilliance, and all the complex and terrifying problems that we don’t want to think about will still be there and waiting for the solutions that we, and only we, must come up with. And I almost feel for these souls, for I sense they are indeed lost and bewildered by the world. Some of these people, like all reactionaries, pine for a past that never actually existed. And others have been fed on a steady diet of hate and fear fed to them by a complicit media powered by corporations all too happy to cash in on that hate and fear. Do they have a choice? Sure, but coming to terms with the fact that the media and powers-that-be most certainly don’t have your best interests at heart is a painful passage.

It is so much easier to blame the other, and convenient to fixate on a group. When I was a kid it was welfare queens and Russians. Now it’s undocumented immigrants and Muslims. Women, poor people, gay people and communities of color also have had their turns as the outsider, leaving a ridiculously small population of privileged white males as “normal.” And that’s a distraction, and not fair to them either. Our man made problems are so formidable that an all-hands-on-deck approach is needed to fix them.

One made-made disaster I cannot get out of my head is the entrenched presence of guns in this country. A fresh and horrifying shooting always brings this out in me and I find myself not feeling so much numb, as the president said, but more radicalized. The death sticks gotta go.  I grew up in suburban Western New York where guns were around, but not part of the culture wars like they are now. I recall a friend with older brothers who hunted deer, but their shotguns were kept far away from every day family life. A kid from school’s dad may have shot himself after his business failed, shocking the community, but that kind of violence was rare. But if a neighborhood mother bought her troubled shut-in son guns (plural) as a form of therapy, condemnation from the local moms would be swift and harsh.

I think somewhere in the last couple of decades a meanness and paranoia crept into our collective consciousness, because why else would you even want to have weapons around? Fetishizing products made to deliver death is a terrible symbol for kids, who are just learning about conflict resolution. And the dangers requiring “protection” from are overstated. Even the cities have gotten inexplicably and dramatically safer, yet many of these 2nd amendment dead enders fantasize about protecting themselves and their property from intruders. And if that is your way of thinking, are you really comfortable with delivering a death penalty for someone who wants to steal your television? A women actually shot up a Home Depot this week trying to stop two shoplifters. Did she really think she could get past the guilt of  killing a man for stealing? I’ll take my chances with calling 911.

But as heated up about guns as I am right now, I also feel like it is a symptom. And even the kind of gun reform I wholeheartedly support wouldn’t fix the root, which is a kind of epidemic of alienation. We are alienated from our neighbors, communities and especially ourselves. And only by healing that wound do we even stand a chance.

How does that happen? I have no idea, but I am inspired by the words of the great Grace Lee Boggs, who recently died after 100 years on this earth. A committed activist, she did the work, but she also saw the big picture. She said, “The only way to survive is by taking care of one another.” And I am taking that to heart.

Fear is a Feature, Not a Bug

So are ya scared yet? Well, you should be. If the Ebola does not get you, the ISIL most certainly will. These latest DEFCON 1 threats to western civilization sure have managed to suck all the oxygen out of the room in spite of their limited scope. Never mind that malaria kills over half a million people annually and doesn’t get its own czar. Or that the Saudi Arabian government has publicly beheaded 59 people so far this year under their interpretation of sharia law for offenses such “apostasy, adultery and sorcery.”  That is not to say that the tactics of the Islamic State are not scary as hell. Of course they are! That is why it is called terrorism. And the faulty response to the first US case of Ebola certainly should give pause and make you wonder what other corners get cut in our unwieldy, profit-based healthcare system. But the biggest threats to our health and sanity are much closer to home.

Sometimes its too depressing to contemplate, when money is considered free speech, and you realize that the tear gas used on the streets of Ferguson was likely first tested on the people of Gaza. And the fact that you discover this while reading from a miraculous device that was most likely assembled by teenagers working in near slave labor conditions at the behest of one of the richest corporations on earth is enough to make you want to check out of the reality-based world, even if for a little while. But please don’t.

Because those in power already do think they can create their own reality. Want to change some environmental regulations so that your family company can make more profits? Then invest big money in politicians and think tanks to ensure that your environmental-destroying practices will be simply regarded as free enterprise and job creation. Want to convince an entire country that overthrowing a government and occupy a country posing no threat to the US just had to be done? Then concoct a gripping story for the rubes (all of us), and chide those who dare to call them on their bullshit as unpatriotic–even when it becomes clear that your plan was, all along, to secure record profits for the oil and defense industries.

But what can we do?

To start with, let’s ask ourselves what kind of world we would like to see and go backwards from there. Want intelligent citizens engaged in the political process? Invest in education and make pre-school through college free. How about less violence? End the failed war on drugs and address the abuse of legal and illegal drugs as a public health issue. It won’t be easy, but maybe those millions spent on prisons can be repurposed for treatment, counseling and public education. And stop letting the gun lobby call the shots. Regulate firearms stringently and put sensible plans into place to have fewer, not more, guns in the country. Because stockpiling weapons is not a symbol of “freedom,” it is a reaction to fear.

Let’s make stewardship of the planet a national project. It is still where we all have to live, and conserving and maintaining it shouldn’t be a left vs. right political game. We have to invest heavily in renewable energy, and encourage universities and businesses to seek sustainability.

Gross economic inequality? Tax wealth, not labor, and put policies into place that help everyone, not just the 1%. That can range from a liveable minimum wage to strengthening labor movements to building a single payer health system so that no one goes bankrupt when their kid gets sick. And think about what a basic income could really mean for the nation.

The others, the ones currently calling the shots are creating their own reality and they have been for a long time. They can, and will, push back against any sensible reform that will in any way empower regular people, the 99%, to have greater power over their own lives. This power threatens them and their wildly out-of-balance gilded lives. And they are scared, too. But the ruthless, bordering-on-sociopathic self-interest that has flourished in the boardrooms and backrooms where rich white men congregate is reaching its sell-by date. And something will need to take its place.

So start small. Become engaged in local politics. Find that one cool issue that resonates with you, and learn everything you can about it. Talk to your neighbors. Listen. And participate in something, anything. Just don’t do nothing. That’s what the powers that be are already counting on.

How I Occupy

Occupy Wall Street turned two today with a smattering of direct actions in New York  and a bigger-than-expected media output. The laziest writers focused on “What has Occupy actually done?” (plenty, actually) while the more nuanced scribes listed the individual projects that various members of the original Zuccotti Park crew have devoted their talents to. Then there were the usual suspects, er, malcontents, claiming Occupy is dead, because they think it is. And that is fine with me.

From my first spine-tingling realization, in the fall of 2011, that NYC might finally have it’s own Tahrir Square, to my subsequent visits to the park, I knew they were onto something.  I knew that the fight for the interests of the 99% was the right fight, for the right time. So I volunteered. I put in the hours trying to build an organized web space for the movement to learn and share, and had my heart broken over the concerted efforts by the powers-that-be to discredit and destroy something so potentially good. And then there was the chronic (if understandable) dysfunction of a leaderless movement that grew so much bigger than the sum of its parts. We are still working on that.

But I have stayed focused on the movement’s potential and I am not walking away now. And while there are plenty of real-world Occupy-based projects  that I will gladly work to make happen, they are not the reasons I stay.

I occupy because Occupy showed me that I could make a difference and that I could become an active participant in my city, country and world. The people I met and the things I saw convinced me that I had just as much a right as anyone to be here. And we are still just beginning.

 

 

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